Are
potheads doomed to a lonely life? Some ex-partners claim there’s no way
a couple will survive when only one of the two smokes weed.
“Pothead”
is the operative word here. The total pothead may have a lot of
relationship problems. But, marijuana smokers can still enjoy a normal
personal, romantic, and sexual relationship with a partner who does not
smoke.
The
relationship between a weed-smoker and partner who does not take part
may have problems. All relationships face challenges. Smoking weed may
or may not end the relationship, but so may other behaviors.
5 Relationship Problems You Might Face If Your Partner Doesn’t Smoke Weed
Millions smoke marijuana
as therapy for many physical and psychological problems. As state
legislatures approve possession and use of cannabis products, pot
smokers feel enabled and entitled. So, weed may soon have a presence in
more relationships than not. That may present problems for some couples.
Problem #1 - Total Stoner:
If
one party to the relationship is a deeply and chronically stoned
pothead, even a tolerant partner may feel neglected and excluded. The
total pothead clearly chooses the weed experience over the bonding
communication of a sustainable relationship.
The
weed experience is private and personal. So, even when the smoker talks
about the experience, the other party will feel left out. Frequent
sharing only aggravates the problem as the non-smoker tires of hearing
about the smoker’s experience. What one partner thinks of as sharing
wears thin over time.
Problem #2 – Big Spender:
Smoking
weed comes with a real cost. Black market or white, the product costs
money. Above ground prices include heavy taxes and considerable
overhead. A user will consciously or unconsciously invest considerable
money.
The
occasional user might compare the purchase to that of a bottle of fine
wine, a special personal treat. But, the chronic and daily weed smoker
puts a lot of money into the habit. When that money comes out of the
household budget, it drains the relationship. It leads to arguments and
addictive spending.
Problem #3 – Life Avoidance:
Smoking
weed leads to psychological and physical escape, stronger for some than
for others. Any relationship enjoys the occasional escape from daily or
unexpected stress and pain. But, psychological escape can be addictive.
When
one partner consistently chooses escape, he/she is opting out of the
relationship. They may look to weed as the first recourse for life’s
problems. The partners may not realize this is happening. But,
eventually the non-smoker feels the isolation. The relationship often
follows a pattern in which the smoker slowly increases tolerance for the
weed high and loses tolerance for the partnership.
Problem #4 - Personal Habits:
When
relationships start, the partners experience and share mutual joys.
They might travel or work together. They talk about mutual interests and
explore shared adventures. They have friends and include them in
discussions and experiences.
But,
some partners adopt or slip into poor personal habits. They neglect
personal hygiene and carry the skunk smell of marijuana in their
clothing, hair, and breath. Non-smokers may find this objectionable.
Problem #5 – Value Shift:
All
relationships change over time. They deepen as each partner comes to
respect and appreciate the other’s values. They might bond over
politics, school loyalties, religious beliefs, and more. As these bonds
deepen, there is some trade off. Each party brings something to the
table, but they give up something or gain something of value.
Smoking
weed can upset that balance. If, for example, a partner increases
smoking frequency or spending over time, it taxes that tolerance. If the
smoker’s behavior contributes to the partner’s stress and health, it
will weaken and break the bond, eventually.
What causes such problems?
ZenQueen, writing on the girlsaskguys forum,
summarized the problem, “He loved weed more than me, It got to be all
he cared about, he was working 3 jobs to support his habit and didn't
have enough time for me…. I feel like he was pushing aside a lot of his
emotional problems by smoking weed.”
But,
this kind of thing could happen if alcohol, opioids, meth, or factors
were involved. Children, in-laws, and infidelity present similar
challenges. Anything that draws and consumes one partner’s attention
puts the entire relationship at risk.
What to do about it?
Users
also should recognize that increased accessibility to marijuana has
coincided with increased potency. So, that occasional tote may make
social behavior angry, hostile, or aggressive. It may prompt a paranoia
or delusions, or it may lock down the smoker.
It,
therefore, benefits the weed smoker to reconsider the strain used.
Smokers looking for an occasional and light experience should choose
strains with lower THC scores to reduce the psychoactive effects.
Smokers looking for calming and soothing therapies for pain and disease
should look for high CBD scores.
In
either case, the partners should discuss the use. As with any other
relationship factors or habits, open communication puts things on the
table. It’s important for the non-smoker to know what the smoker gets
out of it, what they will spend for it, and what they consider a level
of tolerance.
The
smoker needs to know what the non-smoker objects to, what level of
spending the non-smoker sees as conscientious, and what the non-smoker
sees in the smoker’s behavior.
Despite
personal stories about failed relationships, you won’t find researched
evidence that smoking marijuana cause relationship problems. If it is a
factor in a breakup, it is only one influence among others.
When
weed becomes a third party in the relationship, it should not upset the
relationship’s balance. If overused or abused, it will destroy
partnerships. When welcomed to the relationship for what it is, smoking
weed can enhance the relationship by putting partners at ease and
relieving physical and psychological stresses.
But, it seems the one who smokes weed has some larger responsibility in the relationship management.
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